I’m following a 40-day journey of healing with Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes (author of “Women Who Run with the Wolves”) – to remove 7 common false protections and false projections that we humans use as survival strategies. The problem with survival strategies is, we don’t always move beyond them, to raise our consciousness from surviving to thriving – unless we are willing to stop relying on these strategies. So we feel ‘stuck’ in survival mode, often for our entire lifetime.
“Cynicism is the sign of a disappointed idealist.” – Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The 1st one we’re looking at is cynicism, the most common ‘thought poison’ among us. My inner child, the part of my nature that ‘loves to love’ life, and still longs to soar with innocence and hope, has been beaten down by chronic toxic cynicism and resignation. Maybe yours has been too.
Yet, here we all are. Still seeking to soothe, entertain or inspire ourselves – with music, film, art, comedy…whatever good feeling form of self-expression we can find – to revive our spirits, breathe some life back into our over-saturated lives, and help us be willing to get out of bed in the morning and try again.
Where would we be without this lifeline? This soul food?
Our souls are not broken. They are whole and are eternally guiding us to our blessings and greater good. But we’ve become de-sensitized, worn down by personal and collective cynicism, to the point where we can feel robotic and empty as we trod through another day.
It’s considered ‘normal’ to be cynical these days. We experience violence every day, in media, entertainment and gaming … and in just about every aspect of ‘modern’ life … and we don’t even blink anymore. When we do get angry, it seems it’s largely because we feel there is nothing we can do to make any real and lasting change toward equity and justice. We don’t like the hostile and divisive nature of our culture, and it sure feels bad … yet we have become ‘hardened’ to it, expecting it, and often compensating for it… through numbing, addictions, distractions and vices … anything to lure us away from feeling the impact of the realities we have become resigned to.
What if we stop running?
What if we turn 180 degrees and face whatever it is… and allow ourselves to begin to feel it, process it, wrestle with it, express it … and find our own ground of truth.
What if we allow others to do the same, in their own ways, in their own timing.
What if we give ourselves and each other that space… to not have to react or respond … but to just feel …whatever we feel … and the impact of it all … without trying to fix, rescue, judge or control anything (and with professional support, if needed)?
Could we begin to move through our hard walls of cynicism, and start to soften into (self) compassion and empathy? Without having to condone or agree, could we at least open our minds to understanding another’s point of view? Could that understanding be the opening for new possibilities and solutions for our lives and our world?
When I’m feeling overwhelmed with grief or sorrow and I listen to a sad song, it actually makes me feel better. It helps me process the thoughts and feelings I’ve been pushing down, and I begin to move through them.
You have to feel it to heal it… is not a cliché. It’s a truth.
So I’d love to challenge you… The next time you catch yourself going down the black hole of cynicism…. STOP! And be still. Reflect on what’s really going on, what is tempting you to harden your heart. What small part of you is crying out to be seen or heard or felt … but … your emotional gatekeeper feels compelled to shut it down with that cynical voice. That’s what’s controlling you. Not your parents. Not your boss. Not the corrupt government. It’s your own inner voice of cynicism… your own survival response.
I encourage you to soften. To turn within and just feel the beating of your own heart.
If you need help, put on some music … flip to a random page of a book and read it for a message … turn on a show you might not normally watch. See what gets stirred in you.
Just. Breathe. And. Feel. Don’t drink the poison of cynicism. To thine own self be true.
[***AND… as always … if you are holding unknown or unhealed trauma in your body and nervous system, this may feel impossible to do on your own. Please reach out for support: to me, a trusted friend or family member, or a compassionate health professional or mentor.]
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