Isn’t it still an amazing experience when you set off on a path to create something … you do what it takes … and it works out? Reaching the top of the mountain is a great feeling, well worth the effort!
But did you ever find yourself going about your life, walking down your path, climbing your mountains, eyes on the prize … and then all of a sudden ….
You find yourself in a hole? Surrounded by darkness, feeling uncertain, confused and disoriented.
There is so much about life that we can’t control, both in our personal lives and out in the world. And when things suddenly change around us or don’t go as expected, it can have an intense impact on our own life experience.
I’ve had these ‘black hole’ cycles in my life more times than I can remember. Sometimes they lasted for a few days or weeks. Other times, months or years. It has taken everything I had in me to traverse those dark valleys. To keep going, to find a way through the blackness and heaviness. But there was always a turning point. When I would finally discover a way, a path. Whether it was in my personal or professional life, or with a creative project.
What would suddenly make a path appear?
After being dissolved into the goo of the cocoon, I would finally have a flicker of something else besides the nothingness, and I would begin to imagine it becoming something better … a new potential or possibility. And in time, I would make a decision, a choice, to move from where I was … to that somewhere else, where I preferred to be. And in that instant, a path would present itself … from my current state, to where I was now going. And instead of feeling stuck in that one time and place, in the void, I would then have a sense of being in 2 places at once – the present moment and the potential future reality. They now co-existed, simultaneously. And I could finally begin to move in a specific direction again … like walking toward the light at the end of the tunnel.
In this fast-moving, complex world full of extremes and contradictions, it seems easier and easier to fall into the black holes of life. And to maybe even unpack our bags there, because the ‘known’ can appear to feel safer or just less uncomfortable than exploring the ‘unknown’ of the void. The path toward something more meaningful cannot be forced. But knowing that a path will appear … being willing to trust that life holds us in its own imagination … as long as we don’t give up, we will eventually be guided through the darkness, toward an awareness of that something else.
The hardest part may be to not give up.
As days, weeks, years go by, don’t give up. Even if you have no faith in anything else, try to suspend any need to have faith first. Aim for that flicker of light at the end of the tunnel, and move in that direction whenever you’re able to move.
Humanity is in a big collective valley of darkness. So many problems, not enough solutions. Maybe we’ve reached the limits of what has been possible, and it’s time for us to surrender to the void and open our hearts and minds to new possibilities that are seeking us. Things we might not have even imagined yet. And to be the vehicles of expression for these new possibilities.
Maybe we will emerge from this tunnel into a whole new world. One that’s trying to be born, through each of us. I don’t know. My faith is smaller than a mustard seed on many days lately. But I’m still here. And so are you. Let’s not give up, together. Let’s pay attention to each other, if only to hold another’s hand when they’re in need.
My good friend, Mike, sent me another piece he recently wrote. I bet we can all relate with this. We all need empathy and compassion. We all need a friend.
Here is Mike’s new story:
“As I was driving home today in silence I got compelled to pull over at a little general store to write something down. I got a text today from an important person in my life and it made me kind of upset. She is struggling and I don’t know how to help. Partly because I don’t have the proper tools and partly because she doesn’t want to ask for what it is that she needs.
I have experienced most of my life as a mule, consistently pulling the plow, content with the small amount of oats I earned for my labors. But one day I started to realize that I was more than the mule. That I had more gifts than any mule. More gifts than the horse. More than the cow. More than the farmer who was handing out the oats even.
When I began to believe that I was more valuable than an animal earning money for someone else, I didn’t know how to free myself from the yoke. My wife supported me in every way but she didn’t have the keys to the chains. She would gladly help me pull the load and bring water but she couldn’t unburden me. Only I was capable of that task.
But after spending so long just sticking to the task, I was scared. You see I could work with pain. I could work with fear. I could work with sorrow. I could work no matter what. The one thing I couldn’t do was allow myself to stop working and do what I truly wanted to do.
This friend of mine, who struggles today, was the person who knew how to help me find my way. She knew how to look deep into the darkness, where I felt I was, and shine a light to illuminate the path. Now, I have realized that her light was not bright enough to show me all that was damaged inside myself. Honestly, I’m not sure anyone has a light with that much candlepower, but knowing that even one single broken part of the path to freedom could be fixed, has made me believe there is hope.
Its cliché to say one step in the direction of your journey is progress, and while it may be true on some level, the real gift is knowing that there is a path. Knowing there is a way to work towards a goal is so much more important than the first step.
How many times has someone told you something was ‘impossible’… ‘no-one has ever done that’….’it can’t be done’….’it shouldn’t be done.’ If they haven’t been where you are then they don’t know shit. They aren’t on your path and it’s not their fault that they don’t have your life experiences.
But what my friend did for me was not judge my path or condemn it. She helped me to find it. While the path is long and arduous, I now know that it exists. And if it exists, it can be traversed. Many people have done much more with much less. I will forever be grateful for the help to get started and if there was some way to offer help, I would be eternally grateful for the opportunity.
But I also think that sometimes people like my friend don’t know how gifted and special they are. Maybe John Lennon had no idea how beautiful the songs he wrote were, he was just doing his thing. Maybe the Williams Sisters were just enjoying tennis and never realized how exceptional they were. Clapton may just enjoy the guitar and never really understand his talent. Things like this come naturally to some people and my friend is a natural guide. But even guides sometimes get lost. They don’t know to ask for help because they have always been guiding, rarely have they been guided.
Well, my gift is the ability to pull the plow. I may have many more gifts but this one I know is true. So, to my friend, when you read this, throw out a rope, there is nothing I can’t pull. I can pull you from any place. I have pulled my whole life, mostly for other people but to help pull your load, or even lighten it so you can take a breath, would be the first thing I would be happy to pull.”
– Mike S., Atco, NJ